How to fail

As a follow-up to a previous post, a list of suggestions for what not to do.

1. Consistently think of life as a to-do list; never let go of the feeling that you've got stuff hanging over you.
2. Always use food, alcohol or drugs to deal with emotional issues.
3. Every time you mess up, remind yourself that this is because you are stupid and will never succeed.
4. Don't take emotional risks in relationships; nobody would like you if they really knew you.
5. Procrastinate.
6. Nobody will thank you for going the extra mile: look after number one first.
7. Be prepared to defend your point of view at all times; assume you know best.
8. Long-term planning rarely comes to fruition; concentrate on short-term gains.
9. Never try to do serious work until you have eliminated distractions.
10. If you think you know the solution, you haven't grasped the size and complexity of the problem