B&Q pricing scam

I went into B&Q yesterday to get some bits and pieces to reinforce the stairgate, which was no longer Oscar-proof. I was going to buy an enormous sheet of hardboard, because it was only a few pence more than a sheet about a third of the size, but then I realised I'd have nowhere to keep the offcuts, so I went on my way, muttering about how buying the smaller version of something makes it more expensive, etc, etc, looking for a roll of gaffer tape. Finding the right aisle, I was pleased to see that there was a plastic bin of "Value" tape. "Excellent," I thought, "I can save a bit of money after all."

But hang on, those Value rolls don't look as big as the standard tape on the shelf above. Let's have a closer look. Hmmm... the Value tape is 10 metres long. while B&Q's standard tape has 25 metres on the roll. "Let's see," I wondered, "How does that work out in pence per metre? Oh, wait - it's written on the price ticket."

That's right: the "Value" tape is 39.8p per metre, while the standard tape is 23.9p per metre.

So, B&Q, what's your definition of "Value"? Because I suspect that most of your customers think that it means "cheap" or "a better deal", not "actually more expensive". There is no way that a roll of tape that is both shorter and costs more per metre can be described as a "value" product, and putting an orange and white "B&Q Value" label on it does not make it so; this is either a mistake or a deliberate attempt to mislead in the interest of profit.

I have been robbed

Rather annoyingly, I had several emails today from PayPal, the last one of which said they they had limited access to my account while they made further checks. It turns out that someone calling themselves Arthur Waller has somehow taken two payments out of my current account via PayPal, the first for $163 and the second for £178. It's not fun being stolen from - oddly enough, being a Christian, it's not hard to forgive "Arthur Waller", but it's difficult to see how we'll make it through to the end of the month if we don't get our money back pretty promptly. Do I believe that living as a Christian means forgiving people? Yes, certainly. Do I genuinely believe that God will help us get by with a lot less money than we'd planned on having? Erm...

Update 00:40: just got an email from PayPal to say that the investigation has completed and the funds will be returned to my account within five working days.

Writing

One of the common pieces of advice for anyone wanting to break into freelance writing is to get their own web page. Of course, I have this lovely blog, but I'm not convinced that anyone who comes here looking for a writer will hire me (unless it's from Infrequent Rants magazine), so there is, as of today, a new little link in the sidebar to the right of your screen. Hurrah!

In related news, I'm going to give Constant Content a try. It looks as though I can post articles on there that I've written for other sites, and that people may then pay me a nominal amount for usage rights. Putting original stuff on there would mean I could sell exclusive rights as well, but I'm happier at the moment with an egg-basket diversification strategy.

My job

On my way into work today (bus, not bike: I'm too tired and having to transport the laptop as well was the final straw) I seriously considered going and telling my boss that in fact I have been lying misrepresenting the facts when speaking to her recently. I rehearsed in my head as the bus went along Portsmouth Road how I had thought that saying I was happy with my work would be the most politic course of action. I went over the Itchen Bridge relishing the feel of the words "To be honest, I hate this job. It's just filling in pointless forms recording things that I couldn't care less about." And I arrived in town pleased that my mental health would no longer be adversely affected by having to smile and pretend that all this corporate nonsense held even the slightest interest to me.

Then I walked past Blackwells and was immediately seduced by a "Buy One Get One Free" offer on Teach Yourself books. On going into the shop, I found that in a small display, there were three books on writing (this, this and this). It was the work of a moment to acquire an even number of books, and I was out of the shop, reflecting on the kindness of Divine Providence in putting inexpensive guides to writing for a career in my way just when I was utterly sick of my current employment. (The more rational and sceptical of my readers will be relieved to know that I also reflected on my propensity to invoke the Divine for doing something I really wanted to do anyway - particularly when it involved spending money.)

My boss wasn't in the office this afternoon, so I didn't have an opportunity to ask her for a quiet chat. I did spend a little time submitting an article (which I'd written previously - not during work time today) to Triond, and followed a link from there to Helium, which looks quite promising. I have to say, even the sniff of a chance to earn money from writing has cheered me up - so much so that I sat in a meeting and agreed to work on the Quality section of the Community Services Contract and barely felt an urge to run screaming from the room.

Teeth

There’s an important difference between less and fewer. Of course, when I say “important”, I mean “important to me”, but it’s one of those little things that I like to get right. “Less” is used when there aren’t any numbers involved, “fewer” when there are. So, for instance, there are fewer days left in 2008 than there were last week, but less time.

This distinction is important, because I’m reflecting on the fact that I have less teeth in my mouth than I did a week ago, and I wouldn’t want anyone to think that I had fewer teeth. I still have just as many teeth as I had earlier in December, but one of them in particular is a lot smaller than it used to be because first the outside bit of tooth came away from the ancient filling, and then on Saturday the filling, complete with small protruding screw, came out as well, leaving me with a little jagged bit of tooth sticking down from my gum. Hence me being in a situation where I have the same amount of teeth, but less total tooth.

Unfortunately this is not the only bit of tooth to have parted company with my jaws; I’ve had several come detached since the summer. And what’s more, I was warned that this very thing would happen. A couple of years ago, when I last went to the dentist, he told me that unless I had work done, then my back teeth would fall apart. He then told me that I would have to pay £1500 for the initial work, with the result that (a) I didn’t even try to find out how much it would cost in total and (b) I didn’t go back again. Well, he was right, but on the other hand we all had a very nice holiday last year. We’ve since discovered that as dentists go, he was a very expensive one, but nonetheless there’s no way that I can go to any dentist now without needing to take out a loan.

So far, the small remaining fragment of tooth doesn’t hurt (unlike the broken bit on the other side of my mouth, but that only hurts sometimes when I bite down hard with it and so doesn’t really constitute a problem), which means that I can put off doing anything about it for a while. I assume that it (or the other broken teeth) will probably cause problems at some point, and that I’ll have to have it pulled out – assuming that that’s the cheapest option – but until then, I’ll just have to content myself with knowing that while having less money than I’d like means fewer options for personal healthcare, at least it’s grammatically correct.